Grandma has left us silently on Febuary 16.........
the funeral was today.........
i am very touched to see all my cousins chanting for grandma.....every single one.....
i am very touched by the people who came....and i want to express my heartfelt thanks to them...
as well as my heartfelt thanks to those that couldn't come but extended their concern and conodolences all the same.....
it was a quiet serene affair....almost beautiful i must say.......
there was no dramatic displays of emtions that would only pain my grandma
if i said that i am not sad.....i would be lying.....
she is the one who took care of me when i was a little baby......
i remember how i would kiss her goodbye on her lips everytime i visited her.....
i will miss her definitely......
but the messages that friends sent me will stay in my head...
telling me that life is eternal
and death is something all have to go through.....
that i must stay strong and love those alive all the more......
i know that life goes on.......
is that why i am not overly emtional??
or is it due to my uncanny skill of locking the pain elsewhere? just like the time where everyone cried when mummy had cancer and i didnt......
is that good or bad i wonder......
Mae told me once that i am too strong for my own good......
but i am not strong...not really....
maybe i seem this way because i happen to have this skill??
or is it that i am still in shock??
that reality has not really settled in?
it does seem rather surreal......
that she would not be there anymore.........
if i do have a delayed reation time......dont worry peeps.....i will dail for help....
whatever it is....i know she will be okay.....because she has the Gohonzon's protection....she believes in the True Law.
Life is eternal.....
and the memory of her will be timeless....
and forever safe in my heart....
i love you grandma and i wish i could have done more for you......
but you are safe i know.....
and that is all i ask for......
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