Lessons learnt

Society is a university in its own right.....
If you open your eyes and heart, one realises that there are a million things to learn.....
Some seem so insignificant that they dont seem like lessons.....but they are!

What i learnt today:
*Always read the fine print in any document.
* Never expect others to pity you, becuase theyhave their own problems too.....
* sometimes, you just have to do it......and do it with a smile, or you forfiet a happy experience. (mind over body)




FIghto- Oh!!!

with all the assignments......i just have to live through this week and life will be better, and i can live easy......
this week is packed.....
but..........忍一忍就会过去了。

笑一笑， 没什么事情过不了。
--------------------------------------------------------------

with every failed move, stand up and try again, aiming for perfection.
face it with determination and readiness in the eyes, because the audience can tell.
dicipline is one of the keys..........................


that's dance.............


and that's life.......

过一天算一天

好久没有用华文来写东西了。也许我忽略华文太久了吧？怎么感觉上打华文字变得很难，有些简简单单的字都记不起。搞什么嘛。。。这根本是辜负了从小学二年级开始教我华文的补习老师了啊。。。
但老师，至少我还是喜欢华文，还是觉得它是一个充满情感的优美语言。
不知为什么， 总觉得有些情感用华文描绘出来总是比较动人， 总是比较有意思。
想想看， 一连串英文字往往能以华文的四个字表达出来。。。妙。

最近，学校功课一个接一个， 感觉上好像是无法停息的海浪，一直往岸上冲。
我每个星期还要练舞两次。（但练舞是个非常快乐的时光，所以无所谓为啦！）

但累还是会的嘛。。。
只能过一天算一天。。。。

我一向来。。。。不太有时间观念。。。
所以。。。。在我应该练日文的时候，在我应该赶功课的时候。。。
惭愧的。。。我往往会被网路上的偶像剧给迷惑。

昨天刚看完微笑Pasta...虽然是去年早已播放的戏， 但是还是非常喜欢！！
也让我觉得，嘿！张栋梁还蛮不错嘛！Cyndi 也让我觉得，嘿！你这样才对嘛！just the right amount of cuteness....

记得当时张栋梁刚出道的时候，我看着他的封面照， 我心里想：这个摄影师真是够烂，怎么把他拍得黑眼圈那么明显？害这个新人看起来那么疲惫。他的歌声是委婉动听的， 都是摄影师啦。。所以，我那个时候就并没有觉得他是一个好看的人，只是平平凡凡而已。
谁知到，他为了讲华语运动而来访我的中学， 我看到他本人。。。。
才发现。。。。。他是好看的啊。。。
他穿得很casual, 头上带这个baseball cap, 但我记得。。一旦他笑了起来。。。
那个笑容是有足于力量来照亮全场的观众！


看了微笑pasta......我确实是成为他的粉丝了！因为。。。。他平凡，但久了。。he grows on you...
okay...or maybe its just me k??? HAHAX!
***i even joined his official portal as a member***
----〉但加入的一个重点是跟他说生日快乐啦。。。





i m inspired though......
最近有试着作词编曲。。。
但都是不是很见的人的啦。。。。



刚刚才从外婆口中得知，在外公年轻的时候， 他的舞艺非凡， 跳起Tango全场会目不转睛。
我家的艺术细胞是不是各代相传？我爸妈歌唱跳舞是还好，但他们并没有对艺术有像火一般在烧的热情。 反而我和弟弟 love the arts......



maybe we were born for the stage and didnt know it.




***华文真的不容易 type ahhhh!!****


今晚就到此为止吧。

looking back

i took abit of time while i suffered from writers block for lesson plans to read though all my past entries..................

its abit hair raising, reading about things that have happened in my life and remembering; that each entry is like a milestone.

i look back and realise its been 2 years since i said goodbye to XinMin.
Alot of my friends in JC are taking their As now and its already drawing to an end.

Once in awhile, it dawns on me that i can be part of them right now, antogonising over the big As.

It is not all the time that i feel this way, but i can't deny the fact that my going into early childhood was because i was

1.running away from JC, from stress which i know i probably would be able to manage if i wasnt that afraid to try.
2. Too afraid to choose something that i like, like design, dance, mass comm, fine art or theater. I could have gotten into most of the above said courses, but i felt that i was obliged to choose something that my father could accept as a suitable sustainable rice bowl filler for my future. ( if not how the hell will i be able to convince him to let me run away, no make it sprint away, from JC?)
3. Too afraid to die is science courses, like BioMed, which i totally started to have an inkling of regret when i had certain sudden aspirations to be a neuro surgeon/ oncologist/ paedeatrician.

I know my gal pals in JC would tell me to stop being crazy as i have been having a better academic life doing something useful and enjoyable.
I love the kids i work with. I really dont mind teaching them and spending time with them and caring for them. I really like children.


The problem lies in me having too many interests and things that i know i can be good at if i put my heart to it.

I mean look at me.........
I like the arts, singing, dancing, painting, litreture, theater, music, languages.......
i know i can do science if i want to.............(its the want or not issue here)
I sometimes think of being a lawyer, a dancer, a painter, an artiste, a Bussiness Exec, a therepist, a paediatrician, a dermatologist, an oncologist, a neurosurgeon, a nurse, a violinist, a CEO, a fashion designer, a make-up artisit, an interior decorater, a journalist, an author, a translator, a play therepist, a child life support staff in the hospital, a consuellor, setting up a art based preschool........................

besides being a good teacher..............or supervisor/principal etc.



i cant be all at the same time can i???

hahac.


someone once wrote a comment for me on my blog with regards to one of my first few but quite emo posts....


he / she said that it is the choices that we make that makes things what they are...




which one then is my calling????





only time will tell....................

Teaching Nervosia

Teaching Nervorsia: Bout of nervousness that occurs before one starts teaching or when one is planning for a lesson. Symptoms may include feelings of inadequacy, staring at a lesson plan template on the computer for a very long time and not typing anything, lack of confidence and worrying.

If there ever were such a phrase/ medical terminology, that is my defination.

I feel so unprepared for teaching.
Will i tell a good story?
WHat will the field supervisor think?
What kind of lesson is suitable??
Will i finish my assignments in time?
WIll i write a good lesson plan?
WIll the kids listen to me?






i guess its all due to a slight phobia of things screwing up.


i still havent heard from my field supervisor.
i hope to soon!!
so that i know when to plan my lessons for and how much time i have.





wish me luck!

arts intoxication

my life is so infused with the arts these days.....

we got a piano on deepavali and these days, i have been returning home to the sounds of real good music, quodos to my little brother who is attemping the 20page Moonlight Sonata (this guy doesnt even have a grade in music to speak of but man, can he play) and other random pieces like Secrets and all time favourites like Love Story, Fur Elise, Maraige DeAmour and more.
The feeling of coming home to such beautiful devine music just makes me feel so happy=)

Looking at my lil'bro's fingers fly over the piano keys sometimes makes me feel like such a talentless bum. hahax!


but that is not just it,


all along, my eyes grow bigger when i see people dance ( okay, granted. since my eyes are small, lets just say grow a teeny weeny bit wider okay?=)), like when i saw Paso doble and ballroom dances or other emotion evoking dances. I like the fire burning in the dancers eyes, the emotion pulsating in their every move.
and i want to dance when i hear a "dancable" track.=) ( but i will look crazy if i were or public transport so i resort to tapping my fingers/ feet or walking to the beat)

therefore i am SUPER ELATED that dance practices at Spiko has started=)
its grueling, tiring and man does my leg hurt.
However, it is also spell-binding and intriguing and teaches hell lot of perserverence.
i LOVE it with a capital L!
so much so i dont want practices to end even though i am bone tired....
i love the way how each dancer's movement flows together. There is just this beautiful fluid flow, like a transfer of something magical and i am beginning to feel it. =) I sure dont want it to stop.









i look foward to it so much that i wish i were in art school=P hahax.
( oh yea! run away from your course and dance everyday!)

18

Announcement: I am 18!
(so stop thinking i am 20=P)

Yeap. My 18th birthday just passed in blur. A blur that made me feel loved by the people around me and appreciative of what they have done for me. They have made it a blast, according to my dictionary.


I got treated to dinner by Ivy on my birthday eve.


On the actual day, I went out to celebrate by having a lunch and a K-box session with Mae , JingYi and tedsi. Thanks peeps for making it memorable even though we met lousy service that day=) and...........you all were geniuses, you all got the secret recipe banana chocolate cake to stand upright when it was packed flat, and even managed to stick a birthday candle on it!!!!! and thanks for the gorgeous gift peeps=)


There after it was the weekly friday chanting at PC and there, i recieved wishes from numerous people, a special gift=), and a VERY VERY LOUD birthday song right at PC's doorstep that made me tomato red in the face( i think so laa, i can't see myself you know)....


oh, and not to forget the well wishes from my darling friends from secondary school who couldnt meet me, havnt seen me in ages and yet still remembered. Hugs to everyone out there=))


and then came the problem..............after friday chanting , it was a tad too late to get cake...........




but when i opened the door to my home, there was my sweet,adorable, crazy brother trying to bake one for me=))








thats how it looks like=)) cool eh??? i am being called a noob (aka idiot who duznt know *insert subject**) and given a cake that has the main ingredient: eggs, threfore making it a JiDanGao=PP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo yeAh!





i told my bro to put the word "ass" next year. hahahax!





then came the next problem..................


no birthday candle.






we took a old unsued white candle, stuck it on a paper cupcake case and put it beside the cake=) genius!


=PpP





it isnt the most perfect of birthdays, with a noob labled ji dan gao and all, but man i like it!
and for more reasons than this............................

I crown my 18th the best birthday ever since my brain could decipher what the word birthday means=)





here's the gifts=))



i just realised the colour combi is nice. hahax!

Mom's birthday=)

Mom celebrated her 50th birthday today with a quick dinner of myojo chicken abalone instant noodles (due to a communication break down between my dad, maid and I, it was thought that they werent coming home for dinner you see...) and a i/c meeting=P well plus a chocolate truffle cake , chocolates and Eclairs^^

It was however, a very scaled down affair compared to the past, where my brother and I being the kids that we were decorated the whole house. I remember a time when we were still in lower primary, the both of us used crepe paper and made a colourful paper curtain just after the main door of our old flat in Ang Mo Kio. There was also a time, in upper primary, the year we shifted to our current home , where we folded numerous paper cranes and decorated the path outside her bedroom door using it and made out the words Happy Birthday. See, told you this year was so...scaled down. heh.

but she is happy all the same=)

but....................it just reminds me that hey, it HAS been almost 18 years since she and I met in this world, since she first cuddled me, and she is now half a century old. Had i lost her to cancer 3 years ago, i wonder what kind of life i would be leading today? It is beautiful isnt it? That life itself carves out so many stories of hope, courage, sacrifice and love?

Everyone has a story to tell.....if only there were enough people who learnt the true art of listening with their souls.

it also made me rather aware that there could have been another 5 year old running around, possibly making my brother and I buy rainbow coloured streamers and a cartoon cake for mom. What would this child look like? I sometimes wonder. Would he/she inherit the dark brown stright hair from mom just like my brother and I? Would our eyes be the same? Would he/she try to outshine his/her brother and sister by having thicker lips than me or a cheekier smile than my brother? Oh i do wonder....

Yet these things make me realise that in all these years, my mother has taught me more things than i know.
She has taught me courage in times of adversity and strength, the zeal to stand up and realise our mistakes and move on but never forgetting the lesson.
She has taught me to cherish life and each child, every heartbeat of it.

I may not be the most courageous, nor the nicest or kindest.
But i know for one thing that I will learn from and write my own story in life.

And i also want to learn of the stories of people all over........
Heart warming stories, that speak the truth of everyday life.

Happy Birthday Mom=)