looking back

i took abit of time while i suffered from writers block for lesson plans to read though all my past entries..................

its abit hair raising, reading about things that have happened in my life and remembering; that each entry is like a milestone.

i look back and realise its been 2 years since i said goodbye to XinMin.
Alot of my friends in JC are taking their As now and its already drawing to an end.

Once in awhile, it dawns on me that i can be part of them right now, antogonising over the big As.

It is not all the time that i feel this way, but i can't deny the fact that my going into early childhood was because i was

1.running away from JC, from stress which i know i probably would be able to manage if i wasnt that afraid to try.
2. Too afraid to choose something that i like, like design, dance, mass comm, fine art or theater. I could have gotten into most of the above said courses, but i felt that i was obliged to choose something that my father could accept as a suitable sustainable rice bowl filler for my future. ( if not how the hell will i be able to convince him to let me run away, no make it sprint away, from JC?)
3. Too afraid to die is science courses, like BioMed, which i totally started to have an inkling of regret when i had certain sudden aspirations to be a neuro surgeon/ oncologist/ paedeatrician.

I know my gal pals in JC would tell me to stop being crazy as i have been having a better academic life doing something useful and enjoyable.
I love the kids i work with. I really dont mind teaching them and spending time with them and caring for them. I really like children.


The problem lies in me having too many interests and things that i know i can be good at if i put my heart to it.

I mean look at me.........
I like the arts, singing, dancing, painting, litreture, theater, music, languages.......
i know i can do science if i want to.............(its the want or not issue here)
I sometimes think of being a lawyer, a dancer, a painter, an artiste, a Bussiness Exec, a therepist, a paediatrician, a dermatologist, an oncologist, a neurosurgeon, a nurse, a violinist, a CEO, a fashion designer, a make-up artisit, an interior decorater, a journalist, an author, a translator, a play therepist, a child life support staff in the hospital, a consuellor, setting up a art based preschool........................

besides being a good teacher..............or supervisor/principal etc.



i cant be all at the same time can i???

hahac.


someone once wrote a comment for me on my blog with regards to one of my first few but quite emo posts....


he / she said that it is the choices that we make that makes things what they are...




which one then is my calling????





only time will tell....................