looking back

i took abit of time while i suffered from writers block for lesson plans to read though all my past entries..................

its abit hair raising, reading about things that have happened in my life and remembering; that each entry is like a milestone.

i look back and realise its been 2 years since i said goodbye to XinMin.
Alot of my friends in JC are taking their As now and its already drawing to an end.

Once in awhile, it dawns on me that i can be part of them right now, antogonising over the big As.

It is not all the time that i feel this way, but i can't deny the fact that my going into early childhood was because i was

1.running away from JC, from stress which i know i probably would be able to manage if i wasnt that afraid to try.
2. Too afraid to choose something that i like, like design, dance, mass comm, fine art or theater. I could have gotten into most of the above said courses, but i felt that i was obliged to choose something that my father could accept as a suitable sustainable rice bowl filler for my future. ( if not how the hell will i be able to convince him to let me run away, no make it sprint away, from JC?)
3. Too afraid to die is science courses, like BioMed, which i totally started to have an inkling of regret when i had certain sudden aspirations to be a neuro surgeon/ oncologist/ paedeatrician.

I know my gal pals in JC would tell me to stop being crazy as i have been having a better academic life doing something useful and enjoyable.
I love the kids i work with. I really dont mind teaching them and spending time with them and caring for them. I really like children.


The problem lies in me having too many interests and things that i know i can be good at if i put my heart to it.

I mean look at me.........
I like the arts, singing, dancing, painting, litreture, theater, music, languages.......
i know i can do science if i want to.............(its the want or not issue here)
I sometimes think of being a lawyer, a dancer, a painter, an artiste, a Bussiness Exec, a therepist, a paediatrician, a dermatologist, an oncologist, a neurosurgeon, a nurse, a violinist, a CEO, a fashion designer, a make-up artisit, an interior decorater, a journalist, an author, a translator, a play therepist, a child life support staff in the hospital, a consuellor, setting up a art based preschool........................

besides being a good teacher..............or supervisor/principal etc.



i cant be all at the same time can i???

hahac.


someone once wrote a comment for me on my blog with regards to one of my first few but quite emo posts....


he / she said that it is the choices that we make that makes things what they are...




which one then is my calling????





only time will tell....................

Teaching Nervosia

Teaching Nervorsia: Bout of nervousness that occurs before one starts teaching or when one is planning for a lesson. Symptoms may include feelings of inadequacy, staring at a lesson plan template on the computer for a very long time and not typing anything, lack of confidence and worrying.

If there ever were such a phrase/ medical terminology, that is my defination.

I feel so unprepared for teaching.
Will i tell a good story?
WHat will the field supervisor think?
What kind of lesson is suitable??
Will i finish my assignments in time?
WIll i write a good lesson plan?
WIll the kids listen to me?






i guess its all due to a slight phobia of things screwing up.


i still havent heard from my field supervisor.
i hope to soon!!
so that i know when to plan my lessons for and how much time i have.





wish me luck!

arts intoxication

my life is so infused with the arts these days.....

we got a piano on deepavali and these days, i have been returning home to the sounds of real good music, quodos to my little brother who is attemping the 20page Moonlight Sonata (this guy doesnt even have a grade in music to speak of but man, can he play) and other random pieces like Secrets and all time favourites like Love Story, Fur Elise, Maraige DeAmour and more.
The feeling of coming home to such beautiful devine music just makes me feel so happy=)

Looking at my lil'bro's fingers fly over the piano keys sometimes makes me feel like such a talentless bum. hahax!


but that is not just it,


all along, my eyes grow bigger when i see people dance ( okay, granted. since my eyes are small, lets just say grow a teeny weeny bit wider okay?=)), like when i saw Paso doble and ballroom dances or other emotion evoking dances. I like the fire burning in the dancers eyes, the emotion pulsating in their every move.
and i want to dance when i hear a "dancable" track.=) ( but i will look crazy if i were or public transport so i resort to tapping my fingers/ feet or walking to the beat)

therefore i am SUPER ELATED that dance practices at Spiko has started=)
its grueling, tiring and man does my leg hurt.
However, it is also spell-binding and intriguing and teaches hell lot of perserverence.
i LOVE it with a capital L!
so much so i dont want practices to end even though i am bone tired....
i love the way how each dancer's movement flows together. There is just this beautiful fluid flow, like a transfer of something magical and i am beginning to feel it. =) I sure dont want it to stop.









i look foward to it so much that i wish i were in art school=P hahax.
( oh yea! run away from your course and dance everyday!)

18

Announcement: I am 18!
(so stop thinking i am 20=P)

Yeap. My 18th birthday just passed in blur. A blur that made me feel loved by the people around me and appreciative of what they have done for me. They have made it a blast, according to my dictionary.


I got treated to dinner by Ivy on my birthday eve.


On the actual day, I went out to celebrate by having a lunch and a K-box session with Mae , JingYi and tedsi. Thanks peeps for making it memorable even though we met lousy service that day=) and...........you all were geniuses, you all got the secret recipe banana chocolate cake to stand upright when it was packed flat, and even managed to stick a birthday candle on it!!!!! and thanks for the gorgeous gift peeps=)


There after it was the weekly friday chanting at PC and there, i recieved wishes from numerous people, a special gift=), and a VERY VERY LOUD birthday song right at PC's doorstep that made me tomato red in the face( i think so laa, i can't see myself you know)....


oh, and not to forget the well wishes from my darling friends from secondary school who couldnt meet me, havnt seen me in ages and yet still remembered. Hugs to everyone out there=))


and then came the problem..............after friday chanting , it was a tad too late to get cake...........




but when i opened the door to my home, there was my sweet,adorable, crazy brother trying to bake one for me=))








thats how it looks like=)) cool eh??? i am being called a noob (aka idiot who duznt know *insert subject**) and given a cake that has the main ingredient: eggs, threfore making it a JiDanGao=PP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo yeAh!





i told my bro to put the word "ass" next year. hahahax!





then came the next problem..................


no birthday candle.






we took a old unsued white candle, stuck it on a paper cupcake case and put it beside the cake=) genius!


=PpP





it isnt the most perfect of birthdays, with a noob labled ji dan gao and all, but man i like it!
and for more reasons than this............................

I crown my 18th the best birthday ever since my brain could decipher what the word birthday means=)





here's the gifts=))



i just realised the colour combi is nice. hahax!

Mom's birthday=)

Mom celebrated her 50th birthday today with a quick dinner of myojo chicken abalone instant noodles (due to a communication break down between my dad, maid and I, it was thought that they werent coming home for dinner you see...) and a i/c meeting=P well plus a chocolate truffle cake , chocolates and Eclairs^^

It was however, a very scaled down affair compared to the past, where my brother and I being the kids that we were decorated the whole house. I remember a time when we were still in lower primary, the both of us used crepe paper and made a colourful paper curtain just after the main door of our old flat in Ang Mo Kio. There was also a time, in upper primary, the year we shifted to our current home , where we folded numerous paper cranes and decorated the path outside her bedroom door using it and made out the words Happy Birthday. See, told you this year was so...scaled down. heh.

but she is happy all the same=)

but....................it just reminds me that hey, it HAS been almost 18 years since she and I met in this world, since she first cuddled me, and she is now half a century old. Had i lost her to cancer 3 years ago, i wonder what kind of life i would be leading today? It is beautiful isnt it? That life itself carves out so many stories of hope, courage, sacrifice and love?

Everyone has a story to tell.....if only there were enough people who learnt the true art of listening with their souls.

it also made me rather aware that there could have been another 5 year old running around, possibly making my brother and I buy rainbow coloured streamers and a cartoon cake for mom. What would this child look like? I sometimes wonder. Would he/she inherit the dark brown stright hair from mom just like my brother and I? Would our eyes be the same? Would he/she try to outshine his/her brother and sister by having thicker lips than me or a cheekier smile than my brother? Oh i do wonder....

Yet these things make me realise that in all these years, my mother has taught me more things than i know.
She has taught me courage in times of adversity and strength, the zeal to stand up and realise our mistakes and move on but never forgetting the lesson.
She has taught me to cherish life and each child, every heartbeat of it.

I may not be the most courageous, nor the nicest or kindest.
But i know for one thing that I will learn from and write my own story in life.

And i also want to learn of the stories of people all over........
Heart warming stories, that speak the truth of everyday life.

Happy Birthday Mom=)

Heidi ANd Travis Episode 16

i remember the first time i watched someone dancing Paso doble( a MAcho latin dance with the guy as the bullfighter and they lady the cape)...and it was them....Heidi n Travis from so u think u can dance. It was on TV mobile and i was so MESMERISED that i took out my phone n typed down the dance style. Look at them people....it may just be a dance competition....and they may not be the best dancers in the world....BUT......look at they way they look at each other....the passion and fire that fly from each others eyes...simply and utterly amazing...

Been there, done that

just look at it!! i have neglected my blog for.....................hmn....about a month i guess....
at the point of my last entry, i was at the begining of my second term back at school after the 2 week break which included a senior student kenshu...............

and now..........i have finished my first semester of my second year in poly!!! i ended my last exam paper today!! holidays officially start!
i don't even need to mention that time flies like a freaking shooting star on a bullet train right?
Let's take a look at what i have done since the last entry:

the school assignements:

• CD2.1 playkit
• FP 2.1 art lesson plans and evaluation
• Taught 3 music and movement lessons too and evaluation.
• DLE designing classroom for preschooler.
• Academic Writing Grammer test.
• Academic Writing mini thesis. topic: cosmetic surgery.
• Math learning corner.
• Math Lesson Plan and Overall eveluation.
• DLE Acessing OUtDoor playground.
• Self Awareness Management Group Activity on Courage.
• Financial Management Group Assignment (planning a funfair)

the exams:

• Child Development 2.1: Infant and Toddler.
• DLE 2.1: Designing Learning Environments
• Japanese Final Module Asessment
• Finanacial Management Final Module Asessment

the shopping:

• black velvet shoes.
• bronze slipper
• grey giodarno tank.
• 2 white tops from Little Match Girl
• green tank.
• and counting............

As well as.....

seen this:

and totally love it=)


(credits:http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/293103/1/.html)


watched:
-The devil wears prada and am totally in love with the clothes=P
- Attention Please (japanese drama series) and am crazy about it.
-世界の中心で、愛を叫ぶ。Crying Out Love at the Center of the Earth (jap drama) and its making me ponder about things.

Listened to:
-Chris Daughtry and i think he is really not bad a singer^^
-Rihanna's umbrella & shut up and drive and putting it on reply mode on my comp and MP3.=D
-OutKast's Hey Ya and think its kinda catchy and cute.
-Beyonce's Crazy in Love and not getting sick of it yet.
-Shakira's Hip's don't lie and dancing to it.
-Chirstina Aguilera's El Beso Del Final
---and so much more.........music is part of my life u know=P

Met up with my gal pal from Secondary School=) Serene=) and we called Joanne and said Happy Birthday to her over the phone (with the phone on speaker mode in the middle of a thai resataurant in Hougang Mall=P)

As well as planned and helped out in the food comm (like going 3 times to sheng shiong @ haig road?) for the Junior Student Kenshu 07 and attended it.=)

I also went swimming (when i was supposed to be studying) and a got a tad darker than before.

Daddy also went to Germany and back=) (he bought a flowery reddish porceline piggy bank for didi=P)

Ohh...and as a note. I found out that my parents are darn cute.=) cus when i arrived home today, the 2 of them (who for once have a chance to sit at home and slack) instead of watching what typical families watch, i.e. channel 8/5/U, they were watching........NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC CHANNEL and mom was so excited and anxious over the anaconda attacking the anteater and the two of them were arguing over whether the anaconda really got finish off the anteater or not.... =)) hahax!!! n i love them that way=P


and this is only a summary peeps. summary.


holidays are here! time to break a leg and do fun stuff and work! oh yea.