The year 2006 has almost drawn to a close. Tomorrow night, countdown parties are being held like sprouting mushrooms across the island of Singapore.
Kenshu 2006 is over and today we had the review.
Yet throughout it, the old feelings of anger, contempt, arrogance and inadequecy etc etc engulf me.
Am i even fit to be here? I ask. I try and try to sweep away these silly thoughts. Yet, they still stay, like some stubborn stain that would not go away.
My heart is empty and like a void i float around this universe, seemingly uncarring. Even unfeeling. I watch shows that make myself shed tears to keep check that i am still human, that i still have feelings to speak of. Why is it that i can feel so much for a character in a show and yet in real life, i shut my self up. I switch off my brain when others are sharing, or rather when certain people are sharing. I hate myself for having double standards.
What is it that has made me become so devoid of emotion? Or is it that i am too hurt, tired and wounded in the many rat races i have unknowingly signed up for, that this is my instinctive reaction. Which is to numb myself and become somthing just better than a mennequin-cus' i can talk.
I have been traped so long, and now i am slowly breaking free.
I test my wings alittle, stretching it alittle.
I break out of my cell, of which i have been almost entombed.
And call out to the new world, announcing my arrival.
My heart had seemingly been devoured, almost beyond reseruction.
Yet with every slight pulsating beat, i can feel it forming again.
Soon i hope to test uncharted waters
Soon i hope to soar
And get a deep clean breath of fresh air
with the hope of many more.
My vision had seemingly been blurred with everything beyong recognition.
Yet with every little trying blink, i can see it clearing again.
Soon i hope to test uncharted waters
Soon i hope to see
And navigate myself out of this invisible maze
into the bright warmth of the sun's embrace.
Soon i hope to call out to the world and say that i can feel my heart beating strongly once more.
As one last note.......i believe that i am breaking free of my reins.
When your first instinct tells you to run away.......
I guess it just isnt gonna be........
So i will face up to any opposing winds
with a brilliant smile
and learn to slowly embrace the world once more.
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1 comment:
Blurry and distorted decision making capabilities are from being off our true path, and they get worse as we get further away. Each must find their gift(s) and be their awesome and wonderful self to the best of their ability and put out as much good energy as they can. The answers are all easy, we always know our true paths unless very, very far from them. It’s the choices we make. Life is merely the consequences of our own decisions.
Free will is the choice each has every moment to decide either to be our awesome and wonderful self or our fragile bag of shit self.
With balance, control, and understanding of good and bad energy, paying attention, being aware internally and externally, learning and growing, gathering consciousness, one is better at being their awesome and wonderful self more moments. Put enough moments together and your dreams come true. Absolutely!
My sincerest best thoughts and good energy for health, happiness and harmony.
Sapere aude!
Peace, Light and Love
Rob @ guldies.net
I was asked to post here by someone who cares. :-) Sending you love and light.
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