kindred

did i know you from somewhere
from a time
long forgotten
from a place
so far away from now?

did i once hear your silent shouts
like silent echos
in the crowd?

is this age old feeling new?
or the other way around?


like the natural mirror in the still lake with the caress of a moonlit night




seemingly gleaming brand new
but maybe its been always
just the same old story
in differents masks
to tell

name this game

you think
i thought
she says
he says
we said

a little pointing game
didn't want this ill begotten fame
stuck in the middle
just name the dame
forget that she's a
living walkng talking
mannequin


screams
from the deepest darkest cells if my seared heart
hair standing on end

cold
like never before in all my waking living memory
shivers from a broken soul

caught
like a cut off forgotten kite in a tree
tattered and fluttering in vain

tempted
by the groggy throbing brain pain
to dance dance dance to the pumping club music's vein

no abracadabra
can make this vanish again

for history wrote itself
every step of the way


seven strings
the pull so tight
with a twitch of the stick
i move left and right

too many wants
too many grunts


too many too many to think stright for once






dont want to see this ever again


dont want to think anything ever again

will there be a hand
a rope
that will save me from
this slippery spiral down
to pain

idk

It curls like the a serpent that is strangling it's prey
Crushing
everything that holds me

I wonder what I did right,
I wonder what I did wrong,
I wonder what can I do
to make it spring again
to struggle away from the serpent's poisonous fangs

I think the heart's fallen to my stomach
or maybe to my foot
It sometimes seems to be still at the right spot,
growing, painfully but surely,
one day brusting out from my back

that's how it feels



Every step I take, I do it with a dazed aching brain and a calm smiling face
Maybe it didn't reach the corners
But still, it was a worthy disguise


The day the streams flowed out of my eyes haunts me
It left my body cold
Shivering
Like I were in icy ocean waters
My head spun when I woke up
The sunshine streaming in through the window hurt my eyes

What should I do now?
What is right?
Is it greed, arrogance or just a fear of regrets?


I don't know what to think
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to see it as,
My arrogance or good principles?

Is this the beginning of an end
Or a beginning of dreams?
Or is it that the cold glinting snow and harsh winter winds
had been there all along?










And to my lovely gran,
your embrace
your words
were the warmest thing
for this cold lost soul