kindred

did i know you from somewhere
from a time
long forgotten
from a place
so far away from now?

did i once hear your silent shouts
like silent echos
in the crowd?

is this age old feeling new?
or the other way around?


like the natural mirror in the still lake with the caress of a moonlit night




seemingly gleaming brand new
but maybe its been always
just the same old story
in differents masks
to tell

name this game

you think
i thought
she says
he says
we said

a little pointing game
didn't want this ill begotten fame
stuck in the middle
just name the dame
forget that she's a
living walkng talking
mannequin


screams
from the deepest darkest cells if my seared heart
hair standing on end

cold
like never before in all my waking living memory
shivers from a broken soul

caught
like a cut off forgotten kite in a tree
tattered and fluttering in vain

tempted
by the groggy throbing brain pain
to dance dance dance to the pumping club music's vein

no abracadabra
can make this vanish again

for history wrote itself
every step of the way


seven strings
the pull so tight
with a twitch of the stick
i move left and right

too many wants
too many grunts


too many too many to think stright for once






dont want to see this ever again


dont want to think anything ever again

will there be a hand
a rope
that will save me from
this slippery spiral down
to pain

idk

It curls like the a serpent that is strangling it's prey
Crushing
everything that holds me

I wonder what I did right,
I wonder what I did wrong,
I wonder what can I do
to make it spring again
to struggle away from the serpent's poisonous fangs

I think the heart's fallen to my stomach
or maybe to my foot
It sometimes seems to be still at the right spot,
growing, painfully but surely,
one day brusting out from my back

that's how it feels



Every step I take, I do it with a dazed aching brain and a calm smiling face
Maybe it didn't reach the corners
But still, it was a worthy disguise


The day the streams flowed out of my eyes haunts me
It left my body cold
Shivering
Like I were in icy ocean waters
My head spun when I woke up
The sunshine streaming in through the window hurt my eyes

What should I do now?
What is right?
Is it greed, arrogance or just a fear of regrets?


I don't know what to think
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to see it as,
My arrogance or good principles?

Is this the beginning of an end
Or a beginning of dreams?
Or is it that the cold glinting snow and harsh winter winds
had been there all along?










And to my lovely gran,
your embrace
your words
were the warmest thing
for this cold lost soul

Maybe...

Maybe I was just never ment to play this part,

but oh the irony when people say that there's a reason for me to be there.



Many a time recently i have wondered,

that maybe I am but a seat warmer,

heating it up only bodily, without any soul.

For sometimes it all feels like clock work, that my soul and fire isnt needed.

I thought that maybe i had gained their trust, but now i feel i may have been wrong.

I seem like the null in the equation, redundent with my right and left hands gone.





Am I really needed?

Am I really right for the job?

Is it even a job in the first place?

Can i change that thought?

I wonder where is the person I thought I was.

I wonder where is the person who felt in her bones that she and everyone else about her were really born to win.



Where is that fighting spirit?

That courage that I once knew?



Maybe , just maybe,

I was never ment to be..............



I guess maybe I am but a strange dough with too much butter to end up fitting the mould.

Hate that I Love You Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo

not new, but hey,
its the partnership of 2 people whose songs i always look at for inspiration in dance perf. music mixes.
go rihanna, go ne-yo.

this is beautiful
*nuff said*

dropping

i didnt want all these in the first place....
the crying jags
the emotinoal roller coaster rides
the sleepless nights
the talking down
the anger and arrogance devouring my soul
the cold fury
the bitchy demenour
the high and mighty asshole shit...........


i knew all these negetivity were within me

i know its an innate nature like my 2nd breath

i ran away from places that will make me more so...
no lawyer....no doctor.....no coporate high flyer as my careers, i thought.....


but its no difference,

i've become more and more the person that i know i am but dont want to be


i was inspired in october by people so pure and strong......


but maybe....it's cus i ain't them.........

so it can only be an inspiration and too late to be a reality reflected on me.................




so
face it lady
take the slash of the blade you threw...
bite the bullet and if you miss and if it kills you
it kills you

SoulJa feat. Yukie - Soba Ni iru Ne

another version